inBachs / What We Call Imposter Syndrome

In the last few years, imposter syndrome seems to be an increasingly omnipresent phrase, especially prevalent for women in the music industry. A recent post on social media from a music friend brought me back to a thought that I’ve had a few times over the last year in particular:

I think impostor syndrome is often mislabeled.

Not because we aren’t experiencing it, but because it feels like a safer way to describe what is, in my opinion, a much more significant and prohibitive issue that many of us experience regularly.

Imposter syndrome is the sensation you experience when you are about to present at an industry conference or take a particularly important meeting, and it feels incredible that you have landed yourself in this position. You might even start to wonder, despite all evidence and qualifications, “Am I a fraud?”

I’ve experienced this a lot in recent years, in part because running my own business often means doing things before feeling ready. It has crept up while presenting at The NAMM Show and at universities. It sneaks in during meetings with colleagues and day-to-day client calls. Somehow, it seems to be hiding around many unexpected corners.
The feeling that you have somehow fooled everyone is real...but that’s not always how we are applying the phrase “imposter syndrome.”

The post that sparked this thought was specifically describing fear of failure. In that process, the hesitancy to take a risk was called “imposter syndrome.” This is far from the first time I’ve seen it applied this way among successful industry professionals, but I’d like to offer that this is actually a much larger issue:

The hesitancy to believe in oneself and take a chance because we are afraid of how we might be perceived.

Rather than worrying about being found out as a fraud in our current situation, it is fear of potential judgment in the future.

Semantics, we might argue. However, once we can accurately label where the fear lies, it becomes far easier to resolve it. The treatment for this type of fear is building resiliency, or “growth thicker skin.” This takes a lot of time, experimentation, hard work, and patience for our own personal growth.

As I mentioned in the most recent ReVoicing the Future podcast episode with Natalie Morrison, I visualize resiliency as a teeny tiny saucer. When we are stepping out of our comfort zone, we rely on the shallow veil of whatever slight confidence we’ve been able to muster. It can be overwhelming to try something new in the face of potential failure, so that risk means our saucer bottoms out.

Whatever the outcome, that risky decision adds a bit more depth to our vessel of resiliency. Even if it didn’t go the way that we planned, we can use that experience to build a little confidence. It helps to know that the world doesn’t end when we take a chance. There will be another day and another opportunity to keep reiterating, and that helps our resiliency to expand.

As we keep trying new things and exploring beyond our comfort zone, that saucer might become a small mug, then a cereal bowl, and then a mixing bowl. It deepens each time something was absolutely terrifying, and we did it anyway.
Eventually, we have a vat full of knowledge, experience, and moments of both failure or success. As that vat grows, we’re no longer bottoming out. We’re just skimming a little off the top, and it feels easier to do the next scary thing.

Relying on external confidence and affirmation is unreliable. Developing our own resiliency is imperative to our success, both personal and professional.
I’ve taken some objectively wild risks in my life and in my career, including two music performance degrees, starting a lesson studio and creating my own income source, co-founding Outside The Bachs, supporting other musicians in the development of their portfolio careers, hiring a team, appearing on podcasts, writing articles, creating social media content, speaking on stages, presenting at universities, and meeting with industry professionals whom I admire. Those have all felt like a risk, and each experience continues to build the resiliency that fuels me.

I believe the reason that we mislabel imposter syndrome is because we feel a need to be valued by others, so that we can prove value to ourselves.

So, here is my challenge to grow our resiliency: pick one scary step this week.

Let’s choose an idea on our “someday” list, something that feels a little embarrassing because it is out of our current comfort zone. If we build a little resilience, wouldn’t it be really cool to see that it just might work?

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Written by Kelly Riordan as a guest contributor for ReVoiced